It was last year when I met
him during a school
carnival. I was walking with
my friend into the school of
business when she bumped
into her classmates. I didn't
know what actually
happened but I remembered
I was staring at this
particular guy in the group.
From that day onwards, he
never left my mind.
After months of
consideration, I finally took
the first step. I wrote a
letter to him confessing I
actually was attracted by
him and if we could be
friends. I got my friend to
pass him the letter and we
started being friends.
At first, he didn't know what
I looked like as he didn't
remember seeing me. One
day, my friend tricked me
into going to her computer
lab. He was there. It was
then we first met and
spoke. He shook my hand
and introduced himself.
Ever since then, I started
seeing more of him.
I started sending him
messages to his cell phone
daily. It could be a daily
good-night message or just
to tell him to take care. He
would usually reply to my
messages. One day, after
the exams, I finally asked
him out. We went to eat
dinner and after that, we
went back to school at night
and sat at the exit
staircase staring at the
stars, drinking and
chatting. It was then I felt
that I was really in love
with this guy. He sent me
home later. From that day
on, I could not get him out
of my mind.
Somehow, I started seeing
him quite often. He works at
Starbucks so I would go
there to study and hang
out. Hanging out was just
an excuse for me to see
him. We would bump into
each other in school daily
and smile and say Hi.
Sometimes, we would joke
around and just chat.
During Christmas, I bought
a gift for him. It took me
some time to actually pass
it to him. He was
appreciative. In return, he
gave me a wallet. At first, I
was joyful. Then, I found
out he gave my friend a
Christmas present too when
she hadn't bought him
anything. But that didn't
mean anything to me.
Receiving a gift from him
was all I could think of.
Months later, after our
second trip to the movies
we started seeing each
other less and the
messages became less.
After 4 months, I finally got
my friend to ask whether
he liked me or he knew my
feelings for him. All the
while, she wanted to ask
him that but I wasn't ready
to face the truth. Deep
down in my heart, I actually
knew the answer but I
couldn't face up to reality.
After 4 months, I felt I was
ready.
I got my answer. He
rejected me. He didn't like
me. However, my friend
didn't tell me that. Instead,
she got another friend to
tell me the answer over the
phone. I kept silent and
tears started falling from
my eyes. The tears just
kept falling. It didn't stop.
My heart was shattered. It
left a scar behind. I no
longer can love. I no longer
can face him. To me, love
was a mistake. But I would
never regret ever loving
him.